I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
