So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
