I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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