you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
