what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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