this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
