Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
