white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
