Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
