I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
