I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
