so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
