I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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