he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
