I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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