How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
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