As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
