so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
