i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
