I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
