My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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