hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You can't just leave with hair like that
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
