lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
All the doctor said was why
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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