Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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