Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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