Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
this boner is exhausting
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
