he puts the penis in happiness.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
