Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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