new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
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