Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Just took my morning after pill in the library
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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