It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
