Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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