i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
