If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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