LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
