That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
