New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
