y did u give ur computer a hand job?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
