And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
