Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
