there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
