there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
