I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
