i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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