Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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