i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
