he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
me + whiskey = a bad person
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
