I hate all girls vehemently.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
