1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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