Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
