I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
