My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
it glows. i had to have it.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
