you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
